Jane Ryder's Detour
by VioletLites
Summary: There are many kinds of worlds out there. This just isn't one that I expected to come across. (Borderline crack. Out take chapter from "Across the Dark." You don't have to have read it to read this.)


**This story is actually a slightly crack out take from my story "Across the Dark." If you haven't read that, then this won't really make sense, but you could probably read it anyway.**

 **So info: Jane Ryder is a Whovian who fell into Pete's world. She is using the dimension cannon to find the Doctor. Rose is currently unconscious and they're running out of time so Jane is taking over. This is one of the jumps.**

 **So what are you waiting for? Read the cracked up chapter! (Try saying that five times fast.) Please review.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own DW, "Another one bites the dust," or "Honey I'm good."**

 _"You can't be serious!"_

The scene in front of me looks like it came straight out of a 1960s musical. That's right! A musical.

The fashion screams '60s but the song says something else entirely. Not to mention the modern looking street lamps.

 _Bum. Bum. Bum._

-Another one bites the dust!-

 _Bum. Bum. Bum._

-Another one bites the dust!-

-And another one down and another one down. Another one bites the dust.-

I begin to head into the choreographed chaos with a slacked jaw. The song is over quickly and I figure that I must have come in near the end of it. Maybe it was just a flash mob. Yeah. That makes sense. I landed in a universe where everyone is in on the flash mob.

I shake myself from my thoughts and head to the pub up the street. I figure that if anyone knows anything, it will be a bartender. People talk to them right? So they should have a lot of information. I head in and sit down at the counter.

"What can I get you?"

I smirk.

"Martini. Shaken, not stirred."

I turn as if to share the joke but there is no one to share it with. Rose would get it. Mickey would get it. But neither of them is here. What kind of universe doesn't have James Bond?

My drink appears in front of me and I take a sip. The bartender isn't busy so I start asking my questions. I glance at his name tag.

"So...Dylon. I'm passing through and looking for a doctor. A particular one. I didn't just wake up this morning with a craving."

He laughs slightly.

"Your doctor have a name?"

"Probably but I don't know what it is. Though, he does go by John Smith."

"Sorry. I don't know any Doctor John Smith."

"Right. What about a blue box. Has anyone mentioned a blue box?"

He gives me a funny look and glances at my drink before meeting my eyes again. He obviously thinks I'm drunk and I decide to just let him think that. The wrong word in the wrong universe could be very bad. Let them all think it's the rambling nonsense of an alcoholic.

I toss back the rest of the drink and try not to gag. So I'm not James Bond. I don't think martinis are really my thing. Margaritas. That's my thing. But it doesn't sound nearly as cool to order that. That's like ordering a plain coffee when you could be ordering a tall java chip frappuccino. Okay. That's a bad analogy. It's nothing like that.

He raises an eyebrow and then moves on to another customer. I huff. Right. I don't think this is the right universe. It just, doesn't look right. Like there's a different filter on my eyes like a camera. This doesn't look like how Doctor Who is filmed.

Time to move on. But before I can leave to get up there's a young man who sits next to me with his attention obviously on me. He's handsome enough but something in his eyes makes him seem a bit like a snake. I don't like the look of him.

"Hey. Can I buy you a drink?"

"Oh. No. I was just leaving."

I get up to go out the door and disappear but he effectively manages to get me stay sitting without getting into my personal space or being real threatening. Doesn't make me feel any more safe though. His eyes are still hunting.

"Come on. One drink."

"I'm flattered. Really. But I have to go."

"One drink, I'll change your mind."

By his smirk I know we're not just talking about drinks here. I'm about to tell him to shunt off but I feel a shift in the air. It's like everyone is frozen, waiting for something. It's like when you you're watching a movie and you can just feel that they're about to sing. No explanation or warning. You just know.

They're waiting for me to sing. What? Not seeing another way out of it, I start the first song that comes to mind that might go with this situation. It has to make some sense after all.

-Nah, nah, honey I'm good. I could have another but I probably shouldn't. I_got somebody at home...-

My voice seems to have eco and an automatic tuner. I assume that's this universe's magic. People join in where the should and seems rehearsed. Everyone knows their part. Except me. My objective the whole time is to get out the door.

-I will stay true!-

With that I slams the door behind me and run to the nearest ally. Then I trigger the cannon.

When I land back at Pete's world I breathlessly claps and Mickey rushes over.

"You alright babe?"

"Yeah. Sort of."

I grab his jacket And I look into his eyes to convey my horror.

"It was a musical Mickey! A flippin' musical. And they made me sing!"

He laughs. A full out belly laugh. I suppose I should have expected that but after the last jump, I'm emotionally distraught.

"It's not funny Smith!"

He continues to laugh.

"It is a bit."

I narrow my eyes at him. In my mind, I reverse the situation. If he was the one that had to be there, I would never let him live it down. In fact, I'd pay to see Major Mickey Smith singing and dancing like an idiot. Mickey the idiot right?

I smile and begin to laugh with him.

"I suppose you're right Micks. Maybe I should go back and take you with me. We could have a bit of karaoke."

His laughter fades and he looks at me with genuine fear. He has no doubts that I just might actually do that.

"Y-you wouldn't."

I raise an eyebrow. Then I laugh harder and shake my head.

"Maybe another time my friend. But be careful when you're mocking someone Micks. Someone else might not be as kind as me."

I gently shove him away prepare for the next jump. Just before the countdown shoots me off to another world, I shoot Mickey a wink and he just rolls his eyes. It's that moment that makes me feel like I really can get past the Humacra incident. I don't have to let it consume me. I don't have to bite the dust. Not today.


End file.
